I'm finished a brochure for my telecine service and I need some help from a native English speaking person to read through and correct/improve me. Here's the text:
Norsk Smalfilm offers a wide range of services including a professional telecine service for 8mm, 16mm and 35mm motion picture films.
The telecine service includes scanning of reversal and negative film with full primary and secondary colour correction and grading. Output to various digital and analogue video formats including DVD.
Development of all films for all formats, new and old. Optional preparation for telecine and express services available.
Filmstocks of most types are available, including films from Kodak, Fomapan, Fuji and Pro8mm.
For a full list of our services and prices please visit our website www.smalfilm.no.
filmshooting.com
Filmshooting is an international website for filmmakers. The site offers and extensive library of downloadable manuals, discussion groups, news, articles, international filmprojects and much more. Check out www.filmshooting.com!
Andreas Wideroe
Filmshooting | Com - Administrator
I should say this; since you are advertising in the States, it is a good idea to spell everything out. Which you have done, I think that Americans dont like to have to think about what their reading, they want to know exactly what it is their reading. So thats good with what youve done.
Where you have the http://www.filmshooting.com URL, add the hypertext trasfer proctol letters, I think that makes it a little more professinoal looking even though the www. still does the same thing. 8) http://www.filmshooting.com, it just looks cool. 8)
Your English phrasing is better than mine! I get dislexic sometimes when I type out, so spell check is a god send to me.
Cheers,
Jordan
I'm back, I'm back- thebrowniecameraguy is back! I still have my Brownie 8mm Turret f/1.9! Time to play!
awand wrote:I'm finished a brochure for my telecine service and I need some help from a native English speaking person to read through and correct/improve me. Here's the text:
Norsk Smalfilm offers a wide range of services including a professional telecine service for 8mm, 16mm and 35mm motion picture films.
The telecine service includes scanning of reversal and negative film with full primary and secondary colour correction and grading. Output to various digital and analogue video formats including DVD.
Development of all films for all formats, new and old. Optional preparation for telecine and express services available.
Filmstocks of most types are available, including films from Kodak, Fomapan, Fuji and Pro8mm.
For a full list of our services and prices please visit our website www.smalfilm.no.
filmshooting.com
Filmshooting is an international website for filmmakers. The site offers and extensive library of downloadable manuals, discussion groups, news, articles, international filmprojects and much more. Check out www.filmshooting.com!
Yes, it's very good. There should be a comma after "16mm" in the first sentence.
If you want to have a version particularly tailored to Americans, substitute "color" for "colour", and "analog" for "analogue".
monobath wrote:
Yes, it's very good. There should be a comma after "16mm" in the first sentence.
Not the way they taught me English! No comma before the "and".
Mark
Agree fully! The way you have done it is grammatically correct. In fact it is all spot on! You definately have a grasp on the English language!
Reading some of these responses to your query, there is some seriously questionable literacy going on! Sorry, but, hey ... I love you guys, but some of you can't spell!
Huh...thats weird. I was taught to put a comma there when you have 3 or more listed words. But me and monobath are from Texas and I think we all know how good the school system is here. lol
In American English you're free to put comma before "and", if the list is long and it helps the reader. It is generally used in longer more complex sentences like:
"Andreas wrote the text on the website, a short message to the members of the forum (,) and a note saying that he must remember to buy some more film."
I think its funny how someone from Denmark has to tell us Americans the right way to write our own language. And its the not the "ha-ha" type of funny either.
According to strict grammatical terms it is advisable for there to be a comma before the and as in clarifying a composite name grouping fom other "singularly" titled names eg.
Correct way:
We shall go to Woolworths, 7/11, and Marks and Spencer.
(Since Marks and Spencer is all one title, the "comma" separates and clarifies it from the other names.)
The incorect way:
We shall go to Woolworths, 7/11 and Marks and Spencer.
Use a comma to separate the elements in a series (three or more things), including the last two. "He hit the ball, dropped the bat, and ran to first base." You may have learned that the comma before the "and" is unnecessary, which is fine if you're in control of things. However, there are situations in which, if you don't use this comma (especially when the list is complex or lengthy), these last two items in the list will try to glom together (like macaroni and cheese). Using a comma between all the items in a series, including the last two, avoids this problem. This last commaâ€â€the one between the word "and" and the preceding wordâ€â€is often called the serial comma or the Oxford comma. In newspaper writing, incidentally, you will seldom find a serial comma, but that is not necessarily a sign that it should be omitted in academic prose.
I don't think anyone reading it would "glom" 16mm and 35mm together so Awand had it fine.
I don't see how
We shall go to Woolworths, 7/11, and Marks and Spencer.
clarifies anything- if you didn't know that "Marks and Spencer" was the name of a shop, it would still be confusing!
